Who has never been tempted to go back to their ex 😉 ? I think we've all been through a period like this, with someone we were attached to, whether it was a little vacation fling or someone who shared our lives for many years. But isn't the question we have to ask ourselves, is it really healthy to go back to your ex?

If we look around us, it is common to see couples break up and later come back together, whether in our entourage or even in celebrities, I think of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, having had the chance to rekindle an old flame. But most of the time, does this new relationship with our ex last very long?

Why did you break up?

This is the first question you need to ask yourself if you want to get back to your ex! It is necessary to work on this and remember the reason for the breakup. It could be a lack of communication, or anything else, but it is important to know what ended the relationship you had, because it could resurface in your new relationship, if you manage to get back together.

What changed?

Just out of a relationship and already want to get back together with your ex? We'll tell you right now, it's not a good idea! You need some time to take stock of the breakup, and refocus on yourself. Take some time for yourself so that you can come to terms with what changed between your breakup and the time you're ready to go back to your ex. If you don't have the answer to the question about your change, you're not ready, and your ex will realize this, so you might as well give yourself a chance and be a little patient.

What about your inner workings in all this?

According to a serious scientific study, more than 69% of problems in a relationship are impossible to solve. ⚡ Personality traits, value systems, future plans are things that are likely to be complicated to change and if they are the cause of the breakup, there is little chance of getting back to them even with self-work. However, instead of resolving these issues and trying to change the other person, we need to learn to accept that person for who they are. There is no quick fix, but one of the main keys is communication. Work on it and you can greatly improve the problems that are sensitive.

Don't idealize the relationship

When we think back on past relationships, we tend to idealize them 😍. We remember the good times and magically forget the bad. It is said that humans are designed to forget what hurts them. Of course, this is part of human evolution, forgetting what hurts us in order to move on and grow, but in the case where we want to get back to our ex and establish a new relationship with him/her, this can be a problem. Because by forgetting the pain we may have experienced, we idealize the relationship, making it more romantic, forgetting all the little flaws of the other that tended to annoy us.

But it is important to remember one essential thing, the comfort we idealize is easy but does not necessarily reflect the truth of the relationship. Speaking of comfort by the way, for many people just out of a relationship, dating and being social can be intimidating. So they want to jump over the first two and get back to comfort and thus to their ex. But remember, meeting new people may be intimidating, but it makes us grow, makes us discover new worlds, new lifestyles, new bodies and it is this discovery that makes relationships meaningful.

It's all about timing

Our last piece of advice is this: if you want to have a chance of getting back together with your ex, it's all about timing ⏲. You may have done some work on yourself and be sure you've changed, but the person in front of you may not be ready. They may be grieving their love loss, or have met someone else in the meantime. And vice versa. Don't try to go back to your ex at all costs, take the time to analyze the situation, your personal evolution with regard to relationships and your ex's situation. Sometimes fate plays tricks on us without us even expecting it. But if your ex doesn't want a new relationship, accept his or her decision, work a little harder on yourself and start a new relationship, discover the joys of meeting a new person, a new personality. Dating apps offer thousands of profiles just waiting to meet you. But don't forget one thing, polish your profile to put all your chances on your side, especially with the tools of MyDatingReview