And that's it ! You have a game! Now comes the long-awaited moment to send the first message, and it can quickly become a delicate ordeal.

Difficult to get started, because you want to attract attention, use the right words, the right turns of phrase... more generally, so to write this famous message that will make your crush want to answer you, here are our tips for writing it! ✅

The first message will be the first thing that your crush will perceive and therefore will allow him to form his own opinion about you. You can be the coolest person 💃, but the person in front of you doesn't know it yet and might not want to find out if your first message they read is too "mean" or too awkward . Do not forget an important point, on a dating application the competition is tough, other men or women want to attract the attention of your "target", which is why it is important to take care of the details in order to put all the odds on your side for perfect success! 🤞

The most common mistakes to avoid in your first message on a dating app


The following messages are to be avoided, for lack of originality most of the time, you simply risk not arousing the attention of your match. ❌

1) Messages too short for a first approach

" Hello " " Hi, how are you ? » " You're okay ? »

These messages are too bland and impersonal. In addition, they do not allow to start a real conversation. This can end very suddenly because no real subject is discussed. For a conversation to take shape, your match must have something to answer. Become original to get noticed.

2) Spelling, form and presentation

Spelling mistakes, it must be recognized that this is not engaging. Using abbreviations can put off a lot of people and give a bad first impression of you. Even if you have difficulties in grammar or spelling, use online tools to correct them, you can also ask friends to correct you, this will also avoid certain typos. A good, well-written message, without too many mistakes, makes your crush more eager.

3) A hot message on the first message

It's no ❌. For a first approach, do not immediately sexualize the conversation, it could scare away more than 90% of people, thinking that you are simply obsessed with sex. You don't want to come across as vulgar, intrusive, heavy-handed or disrespectful.

Many people on dating apps are impatient and want results fast. Is it a phenomenon of the consumer society, who knows. It is true that this precipitation in the messages is often on the part of the male sex.

It's better to get to know your interlocutor and don't worry, intimate topics will come naturally 🔥, allowing you to establish a link. I also invite you to pay particular attention to any compliments or flattery that may be perceived as misogynistic when addressing a woman! Be subtle. In general, gratuitous compliments and clichés "You are sublime" or "Very charming" are unwelcome.

4) Avoid floppy disks and ready-made formulas

We remind you, the competition is fierce on dating applications and especially on Tinder, you are probably the 12th person to take out the diskette "I was so flashed that I felt like I was on radar". Be a little original, you may have a chance to attract the attention of your match with a floppy disk if this one has just registered on the application, but if this person has been registered for a little while .. your chances of hooking this future crush with a floppy disk decreases considerably.

5) The first message, the pad

No, it is useless to write an essay of two double copies for a first message to be sent. Already you will waste a lot of time, perhaps ending in failure and it could be discouraging for you later, and then it is excessive, even if it starts with a good intention. Put yourself in the place of the person who will receive this message, you will read the first sentences, and you give up for lack of time or desire. It may seem disturbing or inappropriate in the eyes of the person who will read it, you risk seeming intrusive and above all, you might as well keep topics of conversation for the first date you are going to land. Also keep items surprises during your real meeting, so don't reveal all of a sudden.

As the saying goes, quantity doesn't equal quality, so keep it short, but effective.

Who should write the first message?


You should know that according to the statistics, it is not 100% of men who write the first message, yes yes, women can also send the first message. This happens especially when the profile makes you want to bounce back on a particular point, this is called a bait in the profile (a photo that questions, or an element in your description that intrigues).

If you are a woman and a man caught your eye, go for it! 😉 Men also appreciate feeling coveted and knowing that they like them, especially since they too can be shy and not dare to write to you. You are a strong woman, you can assert yourself, impose yourself, and take initiatives. Our advice is therefore aimed at both women and men!

A dating profile is similar to a resume.. not really

Meeting a new person is something fantastic, it's a feeling that will release particular hormones. However, if you unpack your whole life like a resume in the first post, that feeling of discovery will totally fall apart. Stay humble in your seduction, there is no need to reveal your glorious exploits and list all your qualities. Let your match discover them as you talk, this is how the other's curiosity will come into play. Don't forget, however, to interest in the other by asking him questions. questions, this will make it possible to find axes of discussion and to give attention.

Being sincere, it shows

Be sincere and true to yourself. As they say, hunt the natural and it comes back at a gallop. Don't show a false image of yourself just to please. As the conversation progresses, your nature will return and your match may stop talking to you or ghost you. Don't be afraid to be who you are, with your qualities and your faults, authenticity always pays off.

A conversation starter, the profile of your crush

You have liked the profile of your match and it is reciprocal. Use their profile to identify something that can start an authentic conversation. Mention something original, which may have caught your eye when you first read their profile. For example, if your match enjoys surfing surrounded by sharks, it might be a good idea to bounce on that. It is the same for the common points, it is always an interesting beginning, especially since it will necessarily be a subject that you know well.

ℹ️ If you want to be even more original, you can conversely put your finger on something you don't like, without necessarily making a virulent criticism but using a light tone and humor. This opens up the field of debate and will start a relationship on a disagreement. A feeling could then be created!

How about we ask a question?

Your first message is written, it lacks a very small element so that it is perfect: an open question in order to finish it. It's always easier to respond to a message that contains a question, especially when you don't know each other: the whole personality of the other is to be discovered. Make it easy for the person you like, and you'll increase your chances of getting a response. Without a question, it can be harder to bounce back and respond, sometimes even when the message is pleasant.

Your first message on a dating app

There you go, your first message for your crush is now ready, all you have to do is press the send button and see the result 📤. Do not hesitate to take the plunge and who knows, even before sending your message, you will receive a message from him before, especially if your profile is original and makes you want to ask you questions. Either way, it's time for a new relationship to begin... so get started!

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